From “If Only” to “I Did”: How Ansley Ashe Became an Author After 40

From community service to creative purpose, Ansley Ashe shows how passion can become reality at any age.

When we think of long-held dreams, most of us have an “if only” tucked away in the back of our minds. For Ansley Ashe, that dream was to become a novelist.

She carried it from childhood through motherhood, even while raising three kids and serving her community as a soccer coach and library trustee.

For decades, money, time, and family needs kept her writing life on the back burner. But instead of letting resentment win, Ansley did the hard inner work, rediscovered her spark, and at 40+ finally gave herself permission to publish the mystery stories she always wanted to write. Her story shows that it is never too late to reclaim a passion and live without regrets.

My Top Takeaways

• Childhood Sparks Never Die
  Ansley knew at age 10 she wanted to write stories. Even as life pulled her into college, family, and caregiving, the embers never fully went out. She kept writing drafts for decades, proving that passion often simmers quietly until the right time.

  

• Money and Motherhood Delayed the Dream, but Did Not End It
  Raising children, two with special needs, required all of Ansley’s energy and finances. She admitted motherhood was not always fulfilling for her personally, but she chose her children’s wellbeing first. Still, she wrote late at night, squeezing creativity into small pockets of time.

  She remained disciplined and tried to write a little bit every day to keep that creative muscle strong. Even though that was the best she could to do during certain periods of her life, she never stopped taking small steps forward.

• The Turning Point Came Through Meditation and Mindset
  Resentment once consumed her. Through meditation and the book How God Changes Your Brain, she reset her outlook. She calls it doing the “me work.” That practice of calm allowed her to see opportunities instead of obstacles. She shifted from saying “if only” to asking “what would it take.”

  

• Community Multiplies Courage
  Ansley did not wait for permission. She stepped up to lead a local NaNoWriMo group and co-created Author Fest. From there she found fellow writers who pushed her forward. Writing can feel lonely, but community provided accountability, encouragement, and friendships that fueled her progress.

  This is particularly important as people get sucked into their feeds and lose sight of how important human interactions are. As the use of AI grows, I think it will become even more important to get out and meet people. In-person community and interactions is such an incredibly powerful catalyst and motivator.

• Stop Being Precious and Start Publishing
  Instead of waiting for perfection, Ansley began releasing Charlie Snow mystery novelettes tied to holidays. She embraced the business side of writing, budgeting for editing and covers, and treated her craft with both discipline and play. Her motto: better to put something good into the world than keep chasing “perfect” and never share at all.

Ansley’s story struck me because she embodies the phrase “She Did.” She did not let resentment define her. She did the inner work. She did the hard task of finishing drafts and seeking community. She did publish, even while juggling family responsibilities and personal grief.

It made me reflect: what are my own “if onlys” and how can I reframe them into “what would it take.” That small shift creates agency and possibility.

To all of you reading, if you have a flickering dream, please take five minutes today to touch it. Write a note card with an idea, take a small action, or join a community. Over time, those five minutes compound into a second act you will be proud of.

👉 I’d love to hear your thoughts: What “if only” do you need to transform into “I did”? Reply to this post and share your story.

And if you want more inspiring journeys like Ansley’s, please subscribe to UnLost Cause on Substack and share it with a friend who needs encouragement.