The Saddest Phrase Is “I Wish I Had” — And How John David Graham Refused to Say It
John David Graham turned detours into destiny. After dozens of failed jobs and 200 book rejections, he found purpose in the unlikeliest places, while refusing to utter, "I wish I had..."
There is a moment in my conversation with John David Graham that I will never forget.
We had been talking about the winding road of his life. Homelessness. Job after job with no sense of belonging. Silence from literary agents after years of writing. And then, with quiet clarity, John said:
“I wish I had is probably the saddest phrase you can ever say in life.”
That phrase lingers. Maybe because it's so simple. Maybe because it’s so universal.
This episode of UnLost Cause isn’t just about starting a nonprofit at 53 or publishing a bestselling novel at 75. It’s about resilience forged in hardship, about humility wrapped in action, and about what happens when someone turns multiple lost causes into UnLost Causes.
My Top 5 Takeaways from John David Graham’s Story
1. Reinvention does not require a clear plan.
John never had a five-year plan. He worked as a fireman, truck driver, construction worker, minister, and journalist. He was not chasing titles. He was searching for a place where he belonged. The path was not obvious. He made a lot of detours. But each step brought him closer to a purpose he would not fully realize until he was 53.
Believe that everything in your life happens for a reason to prepare you for the next chapter. If you didn’t get that job you were hoping for…maybe it’s because you would’ve had a horrible boss, you would’ve compromised your values, or you would be taking a detour away from turning your lost cause into an UnLost Cause.
2. A single act of courage can transform a community.
When John and his wife opened their home to someone being released from prison, they had no nonprofit experience. They only had empathy and a deep desire to help. That one decision eventually became The Good Samaritan Home, a $2 million nonprofit that has helped more than 2,500 people restart their lives. It was not easy. Neighbors protested. City officials tried to shut it down. John even received death threats. But he and his wife stayed. They kept showing up. And over time, their quiet consistency changed minds and opened hearts.
3. Rejection is not the end, it’s building resilience.
John’s novel, Running As Fast As I Can, was rejected over 200 times. He kept a spreadsheet. He called the mail “another no” before even opening it. But he didn’t quit. He kept rewriting. Relearning. Refining. Eventually, he found a small publisher willing to take a chance on an unknown 70-something writer. That book now has 38 literary awards and thousands of readers who’ve written back to say: “Your story is my story.”
4. Mindset will not do everything, but it changes everything.
John told the story of twin boys in a psychology experiment. One was a pessimist. One was an optimist. The optimist was placed in a room filled with manure and began digging with joy. His reason? "With all this manure, there has to be a pony in here somewhere." That is how John sees life. He does not pretend the manure is not there. He just keeps digging for the meaning inside it.
Regardless of what is happening around you, YOU can ONLY control your response to the situation and your attitude. You can react negatively, neutrally, or positively. And it’s a free choice. So why not choose to react positively? And most importantly, start your day with that attitude. If you find this challenging, write 21 gratitudes while starting your day, and it’ll be almost impossible for you to begin your day in a negative state of mind. Remembers - it’s your choice.
5. Love is the backbone of every brave decision.
John’s wife is not only his partner in life, but in mission. She agreed to open their home to strangers in need. She stood by him through fear and uncertainty. He calls her his best friend. Possibly his only friend. Their love is what kept the Good Samaritan Home alive when it would have been easier to quit.
Reflection: “I Wish I Had” or “I’m Glad I Did”?
I’ve interviewed a lot of people for UnLost Cause. Every guest teaches me something. John’s lessons resonate clearly:
Regret doesn’t come from failing.
It comes from not starting.
Because if we’re honest, most of us have a version of “I wish I had” buried somewhere in our story:
I wish I had written that book.
I wish I had left that job.
I wish I had said what I needed to say.
I wish I had tried.
John is a reminder that it’s never too late to swap that sentence for a better one:
I’m glad I did.
He did not set out to build a $2 million nonprofit. He just wanted to help one person. He did not know his novel would win awards. He just wanted to finish something he started.
If you have a quiet dream that has followed you for years, let this be your reminder. You do not need a perfect plan. You just need the next step. Courage is often messy. But regret is worse.
You still have time. You still have choices. You still have a story to write. The choice is yours.
How You Can Help
If John’s story moved you, please share this post with someone who needs encouragement today.
And if you’re navigating your own midlife reinvention—or dreaming of one—I’d love to hear from you.
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